Monday, April 30

9:37 PM

*FLAILS*

*runs around screeching like a mindless idiot*

BLOODY HELL THE EXAMS ARE 35 DAYS AWAY!!!!!!

*hyperventilates*

ok. i need to go and sit somewhere and breath deeply. and this is the part where the whole chorus goes 'oh shit we're screwed'.

...........

.....

. . .

i feel like squall. *holds text bubble with '...' above head*

that aside. i.... bought another book. *starts banging head on desk* 'dreams made flesh' isn't in stock, bot at S&S and borders... so i asked the guy at S&S to ring me when the shipment comes in ( i realised that the books there are cheaper. i got ripped off by $1 at borders. >< bleh.) yes. so i boguht 'the invisible ring' instead. altho i thot that i wasn't really going to like it, cos daemon and gang aren't the main characters. but, after plowing thru abt 1/3 of it while eating dinner and fruits, i actually quite like it. it's set after tersa gave the prediction that Witch was gong to be born (it shud be since it's already common knowledge that he and lucivar are half brothers) but before jaenelle's born. so... ya. AMY CHI IT IS GOOD BOOK I HEREBY COMMAND YOU TO GO READ SO I CAN FANGIRL AT YOU ONE DAY WHEN I'M ACTUALLY FREE AND NOT PERMANENTLY SLACKING OFF!

ahem.

i'm getting around to the studying bit. really. i don't feel as slacker as last week (which is wierd cos i haven't actually done anything yet apart from print notes.) but witht he stupid teset next week and the exams *freaks* yes, i' starting to go just a leeeetle bit more mad than usual. the med gang can testify to that. i was sitting in the foyer this morning screeching and flailing and bemoaning the general state of the world when it came to my addictiont o reading. and then i turned to mag and we started moaning and whining about the lack of proper males for boyfrens in teh fac. XDD hahahahah!!!

ahem. i think i'm high on mandarins... oh well. mandarins and grapes are a girl's best fren~!!! *twirls* or maybe they're reacting with teh remnants of pink panadol from last nite??? *laughs crazily*

ok. i shud shut up now. ya. la la. *twirls off in a cloud of sugar dust to the shower*

Sunday, April 29

9:39 PM

Sometimes I think too much

sorry. hope noone got worried.

an important criterion for my future boyfriend(s? depends on how many dump me and how many i dump) and husband: he better be prepared to be my human teddy bear. and i am one high maintenance person. ^_~ and since i'm starting to think i was a cat in a past life (not that i believe in reincarnation) he better prepared to pamper me like a cat. XDXD ie: lots of petting and bribes and a nice warm spot to curl up. *purrrr*

*whistles innocently*

meow.

koala's b'day lunch.... ate too much, felt very sick. still feel vaguely sick i don't think i can look at scrambled eggs or eggs in any other form for the next week. ^_^"

amy chi. why did you have to tell me that there were more books in the series!!!! wat's the name's? is it 'dreams made flesh' and 'the invisible ring' only or are there more? i'm going to haunt the bookstore after my test next week dammit. of all the times for my bookworm tendencies to attack, it's now. 1 bloody month to the exams and i'm in my own fantasy world wishing that the society in the books really existed. i mean, how cool would it be if females were the dominant gender instead? *rubs hands gleefully* ahem. yes. sounds like a nice place to be. i could go on and on abt the book except there'd be too many spoilers or watever and i think pple will start throwing things at me over the internet to get me to shut up over this so. *zips mouth shut and stuffs fingers under a textbook*

busy week ahead. not looking forward to it. pbl better be easy. need to ring clinic to ask if i can do replacement attachment on wed. and there's the stupid test to study for. whch i haven't. cos i'm still in lalaland on holiday and not abt to relinquish my passport anytime soon. >< i'll start tmr. hopefully. shall enjoy the rest of the weekend while it's here. and since my eyes are closing and my tummy is trying to decide whether it wants to cramp or not. so far i think it's not cramping. see how. dun like taking painkillers when there's nothing, but i'd rather take them now and stuff up my liver (touch wood) than wake up at 5am and not be able to sleep properly for abt 30min after that. sigh. and the guys complain about having to go thru army. *rolls eyes*

3:44 AM

The Muse lives... again

it's raining. i'm slacking off. i've decided that i should post stuff here as well instead of leaving it to rot on my LJ.

Rain

have you ever heard
the rain on the window sill
beating out a gentle rhythm
soothing your emotions?

have you ever felt
the rain on your skin
running down your face
cleansing your fears?

have you ever seen
the rain blanketing a field
driven with a furious rage
bringing life to the earth?

have you ever smelled
the rain-soaked flowers
fragrance wafting through the air
blending in harmony with your soul?

have you ever tasted
the rain from heaven
falling like tears
of joy and laughter and pain?

have you ever wonderd
who the heavens cry for
why we are caught in this dance of life
the paths we are destined to tread?

12:58 AM

My academic life in a nutshell

shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

that said, there's something about curling up in bed all warm and comfy with all my stuffed toys and reading. that and listening to KOKIA and secret garden. and then i can forget that i have a bloody test next week (thank goodness) which i haven't listened to the lecture recordings for. and i need to ring teh clinic to arrange for my replacement attachment. otherwise i won't have time to do it anymore. and then the bloody exams are coming and i haven't started studying and i don't remember anything. well. maybe i do remember. but not off the top of my head. disjointed facts are fine, but i dread the whole putting it together and getting it onto the damn paper part. sigh.

re-reading the trilogy again. 1/2way thru the second book. i don't really care for it until lucivar shows up and starts wreaking havoc. but daemon is still my fav character cos he's hot. followed closely by lucivar becos he's insanely violent and crack and his logic makes no sense. followed closely by the karla (cos she's snarky), jaenelle (cos she's the main character and not teh damsel in distress kind and she's cool) and the rest of the males in the first circle. *does happy sqee shalala dance* ahem.

mum called to gossip abt home. i think she's a bit high. -_-" shud have called me on fri nite. i was high on my own pasta. -_-" don't ask. unless the sauce gets alcoholic or sugarholic or crackaholic from being in the fridge for a few days. ya. well. i don't think anyone would like to find out wat would happen if we had a conversation on the phone with both of us feeling just a leeetle bit nuts. XD

koala's b'day tmr. i swear i didn't do anything to the card or the present. really. *crosses fingers behind back* la la.

i saw the white-roses-that-aren't-roses (i forgot their name) and white lillies at the florist today. it felt strange. if anyone out there reading this intends to or knows someone who might give me flowers someday, please don't don't DON'T give me those. they're pretty, and flowers should be associated with happy occasions, but i don't want that reminder from those 2 particular types and colours of flowers. i don't know how long it will be before i can associate them with happy things. i hate it how sometimes everything's fine and then the little things suddenly make me think back. i won't forget. i'll never forget. and i pray that i won't make the same mistake of not listening again.

black
white

a coffin
a bed

celebration
mourning

a wedding
a funeral

bravery
cowardice

a song
a dirge

loyalty
betrayal

a sacrifice
an offering

give
take

to gain
to lose

life
death

i love you
i hate you

begin
end

Thursday, April 26

1:33 AM

Starlight - remembrance

one month from the 26th

at the risk of sounding morbid or inappropriate,

how are you?

don't wreak too much havoc, leave some fun for the rest of us when we see you next.

miss you, love you.

and to quote you: be good nya.

Wednesday, April 25

3:12 AM

The Muse lives

so i was too lazy to log into LJ. hence for the first time guess what i'm posting here? that's right. en^2 poetry-attempts number.... something.

was just thinking of a certain style that deborah once wrote with. so thought i'd try it. didn't turn out as spectacular as hers but anyway, here goes nothing.


sleep little angel
dream of tomorrow
forget the past
don't let it haunt you
i'll sing you a lullaby
find your peace
open your heart
embrace love
noone will hurt you

Tuesday, April 24

11:34 PM

The Black Jewels Trilogy

*flails*

*gestures*

*jumps up and down flapping*

*lack of oxygen to fangirl brain, therefore passes out*

.......................

anne bishop owns my fangirl soul. well, the book-part of the fangirl soul. there's still room for sephy and all teh other bishies out there... but but but!!! daemon!! *goes gaga* i'd say i wanted daemon for a pet except he'd probably kill me for even thinking it. XD so lalala. i hope he ends up with jaenelle. they makes cute couple. and surreal is cooool. and i can't want to see more of lucivar. *bounces* just finished the first book this afternoon. was sprawled out on the couch and i ended up KOing on the couch and freezing my toes off too. -_-" la la. but yes. must self-control a little when it comes to blazing thru the rest of the 2 books... stupid test coming up week after next and i don't remember half of wat we're supposed to know. >< bleh.

got happy cooking pasta today. cooked too much. -_-" wil prob chuc the excess out, i feel a bit sick thinking abt it but then now i'm hungry. -_-" think i'll go and wash some grapes. yummy yummy grapes... and the last fuji apple i have shud be about ripe too? la la. and i need to go and wash the pots and stuff... ws too busy finishing off the first book to care just now... sigh. one thing bad abt cooking. you got to clean up after. bleh.

hm. shall go and do pbl or smthg... i also want to read the rest of the fics fromt eh author amy rec-ed the other day... omg the HP fic was teh utter crack. hahahaha. ya. i go and be domesticated and feed my bottomless pit now. *twirls off*

Monday, April 23

11:03 PM

Exciting day~!

so first our tutorial got interrupted by a gas leak... result = at least 10 buildings evacuated. whoopee do da. so we ended up having PBL in barretto's. haha. that was the funniest thing ever IMO, i mean, fire drill usually = coffee break right? nooo, everyone was like OMG OMG! how are we going to finish PBL this week! oh no! -_-" ya. well. we finished 30 min early anyway.

lectures... RRB was... i wanted to bang my head on the table soo badly. that guy rambles worse than i do. and in microbio terminology to boot. *imagines strangling him with a tapeworm*

after that char and i went SHOPPING! i bought the black jewels trilogy. *head desk* and the guy gave me the news letter and they do shipping and out of print stuff... *itches to ask whether they can find the dark horse series for me* shall see first... maybe next sem. i really shoudln't be reading books now. story books that is... but la la. wat to do. fangirl brain. *whacks self with fly swatter* then we went valleygirl and i bought 2 tops and a sort of jumper/top thingy that can be worn by itself if i choose to... oh well think i'll end up wearing one of them tmr so. heeee.

and then sushi for dinner plus 2 mandarins and some cheese and... here i am eating soba. *falls down* bottomless pit desu... bleh.

amoeba zhao, 3 words for you: GO FLY KITE.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

i dreamt of the funeral last night. it was in a different place and setting, but the coffin and the picture were the same. i don't think i saw her face. but i know that i was crying. in the dream that is, not in my sleep. well, if those aren't the flashbacks the psychologist was talking about, i really don't want to know wat the actual flashbacks will be like. i'm not disturbed by the dreams or anything. but if this keeps up, i'm booking myself an appointment with the counselor. >< bleh.

2:19 AM

Fun test

12:48 AM

Muse

there's something about KOKIA's voice that is very soothing and calming somehow... especially her slow songs... and altho her voice can turn a little chipmunked? well, a little like ayumi in some of her songs, i don't find it that irritating. la la. and i don't feel like sleeping or studying either. so i read fic and listens to her sing...

deborah gave me the first KOKIA cd... burnt it off her own copy. it was a farewell prezzie when i left the first time... she said that it was good sleeping music. i wonder if i still have her note. think i packed it somewhere but can't remember where exactly... think i mentioned before, but the feeling just fluctuates up and down. like today when i took out the cd to copy onto my computer and i saw her writing... it was just surreal i guess. and it's quiet on MSN now cos she used to msg me almost instantly everytime i logged on. still have her on my msn contact list. still have her blog on my firefox bookmarks toolbar. still click on the link sometimes out of habit. still have her mobile number in my address book. still have her last message to me. maybe i'll delete them one day, maybe i won't. i copied a few of our pics together onto my comp from the cd that i brought to the photoshop to develop for her parents. thought it'd be nice, you know, just for the memories. but strangely enough, i can't bear to look it them. even when the preview just shows up in the sidebar when i click on the icon. i'll just click on something else just so i don't have to look. it's weird la... unexplainable. and then when i write, she used to be my unofficial beta-reader for my fanfics. i never got round to showing her my original fic, but she did suggest naming one of the characters firenze. was actually going to use it for a minor character, but who knows, when i start writing that again, i think i might give 'firenze' a bigger role instead. and now that i've started writing ff7 fic, she's not there to sqee and give me suggestions or plot bunnies.

wish you were still here.

Kairi's letter from Kingdom Hearts 2

Thinking of you wherever you are
We pray for our sorrows to end,
and hope that our hearts will blend.
Now I will step forward to realize this wish.
And who knows, starting a new journey may not be so hard
Or maybe its already begun.
There are many worlds, but they share the same sky;
One sky, One destiny

Sunday, April 22

2:53 PM

It's alive!

my phone is back from the land of no reception!!! *hugs it and celebrates* i hope that doesn't happen when pple are desperately trying to contact me though. -_-" la la. erm. ya. so i just left the battery to drain overnight, thinking that the alarm would still go off even if the battery died (cos that's wat happened with my old phone)... except teh alarm DIDN'T go off. -_-" so i ended up sleeping right thru the webcast for church and waking up at 2... -_-" shud have webcasted last nite except that my internet was being stupid and taking 10,000 years to load the simplest pages... grrr...

i got reviews! well, sort of reviews. i like the pple on LJ. they is nice. XD well they has to be nice, they can't go ard flaming pple like on FFnet otherwise they'd get kicked from communities. *wibbles happily* ya. and hmm... i need to go and reply their comments. *feels loved*

going to celebrate the lovely goddess' b'day later... i has permission from waku to turn up early and camp on her bed. XDXD ahahaha... hmmm... wat to wear? my most comfy pair of jeans are kinda dirty thanks to the rain yesterday... tempted to just rock up in trackies but i never actually liked running ard in trackies... haha... see how first... must remember to bring the choc sauce along. i stuck it in the fridge so it wouldn't be so runny... but is rather yummy. i had some with my waffles just now. *is happy and sugarfied* ok. shall go and do some stuff now... dunn owat yet but ya. shall go do.... stuff... *wanders off*

ps: incidentally, i think i was having weird dreams again last nite/this morning... i think i dreamt of deborah again. but i don't remember wat it was abt, only that it was quite crack. and then i dreamt that i was back in s'pore for easter and that just as i was abt to leave my grandpa died. i really dunno wat that's supposed to mean. as in, he's not exactly my most favourite person in the world, and as with my sisters before me, i've already told my parents that if he does pass away while i'm in australia, i'm not going back for his funeral. (those who've heard abt certain relatives would prob know why we decided this... but then again, i think deborah was the only one who actually heard the most abt my wonderful paternal relatives...) but don't get me wrong, i don't hate or despise him. i just wish he played a better role as a husband, father and grandfather. yes, but anyway, he's in ok health tho not as good as it was before he had his heart attack and triple A last year (or was it the year before?) so i highly doubt he'll be kicking the bucket anytime soon. i just hope that noone else i know dies this year. cos my dad's friend passed away 1 week after we got the news abt deborah... so ya... 2 deaths in the year is enough. i don't want to handle anymore.

1:31 AM

On a roll

can't believe it... i've written one fic, one semi-drabble (that's abt the length of a short fic) and am abt a third thru another fic. -_-" haven't been this productive in terms of writing for a long term. but la la, shall get it all out of my system. teehee. yup. they're on my LJ if anyone's interested. same thing, if you know my username, it means you're corrupted. if you don't, it prolly means you're better off not knowing. XD *evil laugh*

my phone's gone mad. no reception at all. been like that for almost an hour and i dunno whether to be pissed or panicked. it happened before, but that time i just switched it off and back on again and it was fine... i've tried that a couple of times and it's still not working. think i'll wait for the battery to drain adn then charge it up and hope it's back to normal. if not... ermm... i'm going to the city to bang table and hope they can fix it tmr. i hope i won't have to do that, so inconvenient. sigh.

meow meow: but i DOES go to church! in my room! i is good girl i swears. XD

amy chi: you're mad.

to everyone else: in the event my phone really decides to not work, erm, leave a msg on MSN or smthg. or send some smoke signals. hopefully i'll get them. ^_^" ya, so if you can't contact me (touch wood) pls don't panic.

ok. i shall now proceed to type out the rest of the PBL notes and then watch the second tokyo babylon OVA if there's time. XD whee! oh, and don't forget the cheese. XD *bounces happily*

[edit @ 4am] finished typing the notes! yeah! now eating cheeeeese yummy yummy addictive mushroom brie. incidentally, my phone has finally come back from the land of no reception....... scratch that, it's back to no reception again. *prods phone violently* give up. hopefull this will be the last time it decide to stuff up. very very strange...

Saturday, April 21

8:46 PM

SHUT UP!!!

my neighbours are having a BBQ downstairs and they are BLOODY NOISY. >< grrrr... *itches to shoot them all and the stereo dead* why can't it rain now instead of all this afternoon? then maybe i'd have some peace and quiet to... err... write fic? ^_^" la la. ya. well, i'm writing for a new LJ comm i found... FF7 related... my first writing in that fandom so may it turn out well...

must... think... nice... thoughts... *gives up*

shall go and drown my sorrows (or irritation) in a bunch of grapes. or a couple of mandarins... or maybe cheese. except i can't type ant eat cheese. too messy. oh, and i love the plot twist in vampire cross (if that's the english translation of vampire juuji kai). and akabara is HOT. well, more bishi than hot, but still hot. altho he seriously needs to get his head checked. who the heck would fight to live for a thousans years in the hopes of reviving his queen just so he can kill her off with his own hands??? -_-" oh well. pretty art therefore sha la la. desu. i writes!

Friday, April 20

11:49 PM

PIG!!

sigh. a giant sausage and mushroom omelette with rice at 7, and a bowl of soba now... *pokes tummy* i think there's room in there for sugar or smthg... -_-" and i wonder if the excuse that those were the two 'real' meals i had today? cos nutella bread doesn't exactly count as a very substantial brunch... la la.

stupid amoeba, you can go and release your... paternal instincts or watever elsewhere and go find someone willing to bear you a football team. as for you recieving 12 red eggs from me any time soon, i;m buying eggs from vic mart tmr and i will not hesistate to throw them all at you. i consider it a worthy investment. >< BLEH. and as to your suggestion, NOT INTERESTED DESU. koala can continue hugging his eucalyptus tree until the next earthquake in taiwan topples it over for all i care. XDXD

nooo, not anti-male at all... just feel like snarking pple. so no hard feelings. if not you can pick a fight with me the next time we meet so i've a good excuse to step on pple's toes. literally. XDXD hahaha.

goodness, the new LJ i found is teh addictive and teh interesting... i'd link it except i want to continue eating my soba so maybe some other day? la la la... ya. i wonder if this is like me replaying how waku used to come back on fridays bearing supper and we'd congregate in my room and abuse the males. XD teehee...

need to go type up the lifecycles for today's PBL after this... bleh. hate doing flowcharts on word... so irritating. isn't there a better program somewhere out there that is less painful????

12:18 AM

*sighz* *head desk*

it's thursday nite... anyone wants to guess wat i HAVEN'T done? >< pbl of course. la la la. motivating myself to go write up stuff on malaria and giardia and hookworm now... meow. don't feel like doing it... esp since i'm scribing tmr, therefore technically i can sit there and keep my mouth shut. not like i'm not doing that most of the time but ANYWAY. >< desu.

found a new fanfic site. whipped thru all the VF fic on it. *head desk* luckily there were only 4 pages and i'd read some before... all i can say is... asami x takaba all the way!!! they need to see a shrink tho... *shakes head* but i'm not going to volunteer to counsel them. i like my head on my shoulders. XD la la. ya... and then waku called and we babbled muchly to the point where a grain of rice flew down the wrong tube and i ended up coughing my lungs out over the phone. -_-" desu. nd i think she scared half the pple on her way home from dance. speaking of which, i need to call tyson and arrange lessons... lazy desu~~

i feel like eating cheese. i think i've got enough left in the fridge to keep me happy for abt 5min. think i'll buy more of the mushroom brie on sat. been craving for it. XD it muchly addictive, once you get over the initial strong taste that it. sha la la.

ok. go and do work now desu. will slack off again when i get hungry later and have my apple break. fuji apples sha la la. is tezuka jealous i'm eating fuji? *smacks self on head* is not raving mad fangirl... nonono. is not. *finger itching to click on youtube link to 282 raburabu on youtube aka: rikkaimyu* *whacks finger with textbook* eat cheese eat cheese! *hauls self over to the fridge for the cheese raid*

Wednesday, April 18

11:25 PM

Gaaaaaaaaaaaah

*eyes wall*

head-san, prease to meet the wall beside my desk. i'm sure both of you will be good friends soon.

*starts banging head on wall*

in other words, guess wat i did, or rather, didn't do the whole day. *sulks* internet is baaaaaaad. desu. sigh. at least 'bones' stopped airing. mou. no more tv on thursdays then, guess that's good so i got more time to do pbl... right???

wish i understood more jap. been listening to lots of kokia. i like her voice a lot, apparently she's more famous in france than japan tho? oh well. but her songs are nice, realized that the lyrics are really nice and, for lack of a better word, powerful after looking up the translation. like 'chouwa' and 'tomoni' for example. didn't know that she was singing about the earth and how we're ruining it. smthg to that effect... and 'tenshi'... very nice song. but those are from her previous album, i can't seem to find anything from her new album. bleh. there's a cute song in it abt the ugly duckling where she quacks. XD and 'story of two daughters'... that one has a very sad-ish tune to it, just a simple backup, makes you visualize an obaa-chan sitting on a porch telling her grandkids a story... and the only sentence i could catch was smthg abt 2 daughters and their mother's heart. -_-" toink. have the urge to hunt down her earlier albums now. la la.

ya. ok. shall go and finish my apple now and keep reading the sexual history crap for tmr's ICM. lalala. oh, and i'm confirmed going to NY. XD is excited... factory outlets! shopping! whee!! *bounces*

and since my brain isn't makin much sense, i've decided that i need a boyfren. theni can bully him to help me buy rice cos, well, i don't have any rice left. and maybe he might actually succeed in getting me to study. so... *drafts advertisement* ANYBODY WANS TO BABYSIT A PSYCHO WARPED CRACKED SUGAR ADDICT???? *mad laugh*

2:04 AM

Productivity... not

once again, i have amazed myself... at how well i don't stick to my study schedule. instead of whizzing thru my lectures and pbl as i envision myself doing every time i have wed off... what do i do? this week's accomplishment is reading all the CCD scans available from my favrouite d/l site. and then i d/led another new series which i was planning to read after drawing up the life cycles. except i haven't done the life cycles and now i'm getting hungry and thinking of instant noodles. eating instant noodles means that i can't write properly. i can't eat without entertainment, therefore i plan to eat and read. -_-" can someone prease to hit me upside the head thanks. oh. and apart from that, i've also managed to whizz through many veiwfinder fics. *does major head banging on table* not to mention karaoke-ing along to 'flavour of life' and failing miserably abt 1 min into the song cos i forgot the tune. XDXD to my neighbours who have to put up with my attempts at being a diva... LIVE WITH IT BWAHAHA. personally, i think me singing sounds better than CERTAIN PEOPLE having SEX. *death glares random apartments* thank goodness i've only heard the dodgy sounds once so far since moving in... i really don't want to hear anything more... *shudders* and i thankfully have no idea who were the pple involved. so another sigh of relief at that.

speaking of being dodgy, the couple sitting next to me on mon were DODGY!!! the guy was feeling the girl up randomly and she kept pushing his hand away cos she was concentrating on her lectures... and then when the lecturer said something abt how a certain parasite had male and female morphology such that they were in permanent copulation, the guy said "that's cool! i want to try that!" at which i almost died and clawed a hole in jess' sleeve. *hides under blanket and shudders* meow... why oh why do i just have to hear the wrong things at hte wrong time... *cries*

la la la... so... i shall go and continue motivating myself to do some work... and then later i'll boil water and have instant noodles! yay! MSG fix! woot! and erm... any fic-recs? XD la la la... i'd write except i have nothing to write. nothing writable that is. anyway, has anyone ever had these thoughts of what they would have become in a different life or something?? i'd have like to be a writer. or a singer. singer-writer sounds good. or model. or assassin. bwahaha KNIVES!!!! ahem. ya. speaking of modelling, i've decided that if i still get approached by those crazy pple when i go back home, i might just sign up for fun... and i wonder how long more it'll be until they stop chasing me... considering that i'm 22 this year... la la la OLD DESU!!! XDXD but seriously, those pple have very thick-skin to be those... scout/chaser whatever they're called... considering that most of the time you've to chase after pple who are walking very fast in the opposite direction of you and pretending they don't see you or the form you're waving under their noses... like the one who was hounding me and lyd. *rofl* and lyd doing the whol grab-arm-and-drag-blur-ernie-away while saying "no she's not at home to work for you guys we're not interested we're late for another appointment go away and leave us alone bye" and all the time i was like "huh? huh? what happened?" XDXD ya.

ok. life cycles. PBL! i love work. work loves me. ya. maybe that's why i just can't get away from the pile of it following me around... and look i've wasted loads more time rambling in here... -_-" sigh. and i need to tidy up my room tmr. FCT coming over to claim his badminton stuff and condor heroes stuff... and my room seriously looks like a warzone. i wonder how i manage to find my way ard it without tripping at nite. *impressed* ok. stopo rambling. back to work.

ps:noooodddlllleesssss!!!

Tuesday, April 17

7:26 PM

Stupid Winamp

grrr... i am just abt ready to go throw a few stones at the stupid player except i'd break my laptop if i did that... stupid thing was refusing to save my playlists properly... so i was tweaking my nice long erm... 40h long playlist and it still refused to work... so now my plpaylist is in shambles and i'm not very happy abt it... so i had to truncate it and start from scratch. sigh. oh well. i guess i'll just keep adding to it again until it protests. XD la la la. *prods it* baka.

might be going new york with 2nd sis during the winter hols! is excited desu. XD but not confimed yet. cos she's got some conference and we're trying to get back in time for oldest sis ROM... so ya. busy busy. must rememebr to play lots of compy games too. whee!

ok. shall go and finish eating dinner now. la la. bye!

ps: in case anyone was wondering where i was for the review lecture this afternoon... er... let's just say that i set my alarm clock at the wrong time and woke up from my nap after the lecture ended. ^_^" *whisltes*

12:55 AM

Songs

ok. i should like, stop listening to all these depressing mp3s, but they're just too darn beautiful to stop listening to... never realized how sad the lyrics for 'truth' and 'flavour of life' were until i googled teh translations... heck, anything sung by yuna ito in NANA is depressing, well, the ballads that is. i mean, 'endless story' was abt as depressing as 'truth' altho it was slightly more optimistic.

and then to make things worse for myself, i google the english lyrics for 'kiss me goodbye' from FF12... by angela aki (who also sings one of the endings for blood+) and... well, if that isn't a depressing song, i dunno what is. but it's very very sweet and nice... the vidoe for the jap version is here... there's scenes from ff12 in there. and kat kat can watch it and bemoan the way she bangs on the grand piano. i think she's more used to playing on a keyboard... my sister plays praise songs like that, very violently. XD ya. english version lyrics are below. my goodness, i've been spamming my blog with lyrics lately. i need to stop. and i need to sleep cos of stupid 8am lecture tmr. sigh. nite nite and enjoy.

Kiss Me Goodbye - Angela Aki (Final Fantasy 12)

You say my love is all you need
To see you through
But I know these words are not quite true

Here is the path you’re looking for
An open door
Leading the worlds you long to explore

Go, if you must move on alone
I’m gonna make it on my own

Kiss me good-bye, love’s memory
Follow your heart and find your destiny
Don’t shed a tear, for love’s mortality
For you put the dream in my reality

As times goes by I know you’ll see this of me
I loved enough to let you go free

Go, I will give you wings to fly
Cast all your fears into the sky

Kiss me good-bye, love's mystery
All of my life, I’ll hold you close to me
Don’t shed a tear, for love’s mortality
For you put the dream in my reality

Kiss me good-bye, love’s memory
You put the dream in my reality

Monday, April 16

7:54 PM

Crazy lecturers

i love it how when i start dreading the thought of having lectures back to back and am seriously contemplating bashing my head on the desk and wailing abt the unfairness of life, we get a lecturer on crack. like seriously. can i just profess my undying love for him and transfer over to vet science now provided he lectures me everyday and entertains me? i mean, who knew that parasites could be so... crack? well, he showed us lots of ABSOLUTELY GROSS videos too, but thank goodness for post-lunch lectures. cos after that, you'd have to be nuts to have a roaring appetite. -_-" ya. well, vet science lecturer = crack. yayness and happy sha la la. XD

i think i didn't buy enough meat. -_-" la la. shall see wat happens later in the week. ^_^" and i still need to ring the clinic and see if i can do my attachment this wed. bleh. laaaazy desu. sigh.

shall go watch tokyo babylon OVA and finish dinner, then need to print notes and type out PBL stuff... was scribe today. except i didn't know, therefore my grp had no food and we all dieted together. hahahaha. someone prease to remind me to buy food for fri. and to buy rice too. running out of rice sha la la...

12:05 AM

The Flavour of Life

by utada hikaru.

Arigatou to kimi ni iwareru to nandaka setsunai
sayounara no ato no tokenu mahou awaku horonigai
The flavor of life
[ For some reason it's painful when you say "Thank You"
The unbreakable magic after "good bye" is weakly bittersweet
The Flavor of life]

tomodachi demo koibito demo nai chuukan chiten de
shuukaku no hi wo yumemiteru aoi furu-tsu
ato ippo ga fumidasenai sei de
jirettai no wa nande?
[Not friends, but not lovers, we're inbetween
I'm dreaming of the day of the harvest of fresh fruit
Why is it so vexing?]

arigatou to kimi ni iwareru to nandaka setsunai
sayounara no ato no tokenu mahou awaku horonigai
The flavor of life
[For some reason it's painful when you say "Thank you"
The unbreakable magic after "good bye" is weakly bittersweet
The flavor of life]

amai dake no sasoi monku ajike no nai doku
sonna mono ni wa kyoumi wa sosorarenai
omoitoori ni ikanai toki datte
jinsei suteta mon janai tte
[Words of invitation that are simply sweet are a sensationless poison
My interest is not peaked by things like that
Life isn't something that you throw away
When things don't go your way]

doushita no? to kyuu ni kikareru to "uun. nandemo nai"
sayounara no ato ni kieru egao watashi rashikunai
sinjitai to negaeba negau hodo nandaka setsunai
"aishiteru yo" yori mo "daisuki" no hou ga kimi rashii janai?
The flavor of life
[When I'm suddenly asked "what's wrong?" is just say "no, nothing"
The smiling face that disappears after "good bye" isn't like me
The more i wish that I want to believe, the more painful it is
It's more like you to say "I like you" more than "I love you"
The flavor of life]

wasurekakete ita hito no omoi wo totsuzen omoidasu koro
furitsumoru yuki no shirosa wo omou to sunao ni yorokobitai yo
[When you suddenly remember people you were about to forget
I honestly want to be happy when I think of the whiteness of the snow that builds up]

daiyamondo yorimo yawarakakute atatakana mirai
teni shitai yo kagiri aru jikan wo kimi to sugoshitai
"arigatou" to kimi ni iwareru to nandaka setsunai
sayounara no ato no tokenu mahou awaku horonigai
The flavor of life
[More than diamonds, I want a soft, warm future
I want to spend my limited time with you
For some reason it's painful when you say "Thank you"
The unbreakable magic after "good bye" is weakly bittersweet
The flavor of life]

nice song. i think i'll make it my theme song for a while. it's got stuff in there that i think but wouldn't say. don't have the guts to. che.

can you hear me?

Sunday, April 15

1:57 PM

Dreaming

dreamt i was in MGS last nite... it was highly crack, we were ganging up against ms thomas i think? and at one point of time she was chasing someone around the class. haha... miss secondary sch... and JC too... it was one of those dreams where you're in the past but you know that you're from the future kind? if it makes sense. ya... deborah was there too... looked exactly like she did in sec sch. right down to the messy 'i'm only braiding my hair cos i got told off' braid. XD and i think she was one of the ring leaders, or was she the one that got chased ard class? i don't remember. but i remember thinking that if only we could stay in the past just like that, then we wouldn't need to worry about wat was going to happen a couple of years later.

also dreamt that someone else both of us knew from JC got cancer and died. man, since when were my dreams so morbid??? i hope that one doesn't come true. bleh.

where are my crack dreams when i need them to keep me company... did i mention that just a few days ago i was having some weird dream where i was hypothesizing about werewolves getting high on sugar? well, if i didn't, i'm telling you now. i blame it on harry potter overdose. XD la la.

on the brighter, crackier side of things, i found the rikkaimyu on youtube. XD i ♥ rikkai, that bunch of psychotic genius misfits. XD and OMG! yagyuu and niou!! they pulled off the switch in the musical! like DIRECTOR-SAN!! i worships you and thanks you for not cutting it out like in the stupid anime. XD yesh. and in the musical, i swear that yagyuu is on as much crack as niou... and jackal pretending to be yagyuu and dancing along with niou while yagyuu was switching wigs back to his normal hairstlye... XD yagyuu came out from the screen and pulled the wig from jackal's head and kicked him back to marui! *dies laughing* only complaint is that yukimura isn't pretty enough. well, not as pretty as compared to the manga. XD but incidentally, the guy playing yukimura looks a lot like that korean guy from 'king and the clown' and 'my girl', watever his name is. i think it's the hair. oh well, at least the casting pple got the face shape correct. but i still fangirl and wubs the niou. XD "puri?" *sqeee* and why oh why didn't the stupid person who uploaded the musical upload the whole thing? >< mou! had to go dig around for the extra videos.. oh well. i've watched the switch at least 5 times already and i still wabus it muchly cos its also got kikumaru baiting. XD la la. ok. shall go watch the backstage now. have i mentioned how much i love youtube? and since it's the last day of the hols, i've decided to enjoy myself and get down to work starting tmr.

Truth - REIRA starring YUNA ITO, NANA 2

Let me stay with you
Kizutsuke au no ni
Naze konna ni motomete shimau no
Don’t you know my heart ?
Sunao ni narezu ni ita no
Tada hitotsu no ai ga hoshii no ni

[Let me stay with you even if it hurts both of us
Why must I always demand so much
Don’t you know my heart could never stay put
There’s simply only one love I want]

Meguriaeta kiseki wo shinjite
Kanadete yukitai anata e no melody
Moshi mo subete wo nakushite shimatte mo
Kono omoi wa eien na no
It’s my truth

[Believing in miracles we can come across
I go on playing a melody for you
Even if I end up losing everything
This feeling is forever, It’s my truth]

Believe in yourself
Tsumazuita toki mo
Aruitekita namida wo nugutte
Open up your heart, omoide no saki ni kitto
Ashita to iu kibou ga aru kara

[Believe in yourself even when you stumble
Wipe your tears as you walk on
Open up your heart beyond the memories, surely
There is a hope we call tomorrow]

Give me your loneliness
And I’ll give you my tenderness
Wasurenai de ite ano hi mita yume wa
Hanareteite mo kono mune ni itsudemo
Kanjite iru anata dake wo
It’s my truth

[Give me your loneliness
and I’ll give you my tenderness
Don’t forget the dream we saw that day
Even if we’re separated, in this heart
I will feel you forever, It’s my truth]

Tsunagaru hoshi ga sasayaki kakeru
Tomadou kokoro wo te ga shinagara
Deai to wakere hito wa sagasu no
Itsuka musubi aeru tsuyoi kizuna wa

[Your whisper reaches the scattered stars
Illuminating my confused heart
In every encounter and farewell, what people search for is
This strong bond that will unite them someday]

Sekaijuu no kanashimi mo subete
Uketomete mo ii anata no tamenara
Sekaijuu kara okizari ni sarete mo
Sono hitomi wo shinjite iru
It’s my truth

[All the sadness throughout the world
If it’s for you, I can take it all in
Even if the whole world deserts me
I believe in those eyes, It’s my truth]

Saturday, April 14

7:12 PM

Back

funky flight. the jap radio was hilarious. well, i found it hilarious. they were playing kanfuu fighting by everyone's favourite kansai band. aka kanjani 8. XD then they played kat-tun's new single (i think?) boku no machi he or smthg like that. and the songs from NANA 2. and there was smthg of utada's that i was always asleep when it played but i think it was *insert some character* kuma kuma??? and i vaguely remember thinking 'huh? what bear?' before going zzzzzzzzz again. ^_^"

anyway, flight was good. the stewardess didn't have a fake accent for once. *applause* turbulence was bearable. erm... oh, and this time round i cheonged customs and luggage and i got out in ab 30 min, instead of q-ing like an idiot for an hour at customs. XD ya. then took the shuttle bus... almost got left behind at the change over station cos they didn't add me to either of hte buses leaving. -_-" and then after that they had to call one of the buses back to pick me up. and i was trying to juggle my sling bag, my laptop, my main luggage and my extra draggy bag cos had too much bulky stuff to bring back. speaking of which, i now haave a vacuum! and a steam iron! bwahaha! anyone who needs need ironing, you know where to come. XD no ironing board tho. sha la la

erm. ya. got back to city, went to market. i think i got cheated on my grapes... i saw nicer looking bunches for the same price. >< bleh. and you know, i think it was the same store that i got ripped off at previously? -_-" talk abt deja vu. and i was just explaining wat deja vu was to mum yesterday. bleh. and the woman at the tomato store gave me an ugly tomato. but she looked kinda pissed off so i didn't ask for a change. oh well. and marketing by self isn't fun... sniff sniff. and i have this feeling i bought too much food??? *scratch head* wasn't really thinking straight. oh well.

trying to sort out stuff on my hard drive now. is muchly messy. ^_^" and i think i'll go watch AC dvd after this. sqee for pretty graphics. XD haha. and i love my speakers. sudden;y all the songs from gravitation sound so much better now that i've got the bass... the speakers back home no got bass... so sound isn't as nice. XDXD

Friday, April 13

7:39 PM

Jetset

leaving in a couple of hours. hope there're good movies on the plane. and may my tummy behave itself... i think it was the macdonalds from lunch. -_-" sigh.

have to bring back an extra luggage this time round, too much stuff. ^_^" bringing back an iron and vacuum cleaner so that i can get happy ironing my stuff (i'm using my table as an ironing board. may the blanket be thick enough to stop it from getting burnt) and so that i don't have to rent a vacuum when i want to clean... should have charged it before leaving tho... but then again, it'd be quite funny if it was fully charged and the switch got tripped in my luggage and it started making noises ne? XD

didn't do as much work as i was planning to. bad en-chan. and then i bought the FF7AC dvd so guess wat i'm going to be doing on sat/sun nite. -_-" tested it just now, crystal clear! and the english dub doesn't sound so bad, but thank goodness there's still the jap dub. decent subs too. only thing is that it doesn't have the trailers for all teh games and stuff. mou! wanted to watch pretty pretty trailers... and when's crisis core coming out anyway? i'm going to steal someone's PSP and play it. bwahaha. speaking of com games, i was a good girl this 'hols'. didn't touch my gaming sets at all. but then again, i was getting happy watching harry potter so... hmmm. ^_^"

shall go and surf ard a bit more. then need to clear the history and stuff again. otherwise too much incriminating things left? XDXD la la la. also wrote a long mini-essay abt the stuff that happened the week i left. then i going to hand the 3 page thingy, plus some photo-printouts to the department and hope they approve my application.

desu.

laling! i stalks you and loverly goddess to market tmr if i get back to the city in time! if not then err... maybe i runs into you somewhere in the meat section? and if anyone sees me wibbling around the market, prease to make sure that i don't end up face first in a pile of veggies. XD and also, pray that my fridge hasn't turned into a jungle or that hte cheese, sausages and eggs haven't gotten happy and multiplied or smthg. *shudders*

Thursday, April 12

3:51 AM

Muse

i think i'm over it but i guess i'm not. i still think about it. too many memories i guess. the counsellor said to make fond memories... guess i've got too many of those. a small part of me still thinks that one day i'm going to pick up the phone and call you and then we're going to go shopping or something... well, that day's not coming i know but still. it was weird going to taka and pepper lunch and PS and the goth shop at the mrt station... i mean, you were the one who brought me to those places in the first place. but i guess it wasn't as hard as expected.... and i can't exactly stay away from orchard forever more right? ^_^" ya... i miss all the seemingly insignificant stuff. like now when i'm back on 'holiday'. i think of i'd always sms you to say i'm back, and then you'd arrange to meet up... exchange the fruits of our piracy etc. and now you're not there. then i read fic from authors you introduced to me and you're not reading it as well. i can't go gaga over the anime characters cos there's noone there. there's noone commenting on my blog. it's all those little things, you know? i guess that's what's making that small part of me wallow in denial. sigh.

other than that, i guess i'm pretty much over it. quite accepted what has happened. at peace i guess, and it's only normal to think about it. i won't forget you, definitely not. you certainly made a big enough impact on my life for me not to forget for a looong time more. ^_^ now i wonder a little... did you ever mean for anyone to stop you? i guess not... given the way you said goodbye and left. not that it matters anymore. and the next time i see you, i doubt we'll actually be talking about stuff as trivial as this ne?

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

for those not used to seeing this side of me, get used to it. this blog is going to turn more personal. i think it's about time it stopped being so superficial sometimes. i didn't say a lot about what i've thought or felt since it was started becos i was afraid of wat the pple reading it might think, especially since it would concern some of the readers. i guess i should change that... maybe. see how i guess. but yes, there's going to be more of those musings etc. i refuse to keep a written journal, and wat's the point of making posts private. if i really didn't want pple to see them, i wouldn't even put them on my computer. i'd write it out and burn it.

the next time i change my layout, i'm going to link her blog. she never wanted me to link it cos she didn't want some pple reading it, but now that she's gone, i don't see any harm in it. her dad's going to put some sort of closure onto it, i guess, so ya, look forward to that if you want. i might post about what happened some other day. not now. it seems almost like betrayal to write about what really happened, so for now, i'll just stick to getting rid of the stuff inside me that i can't say verbally. so here it is on the net. how ironic.

re-reading for every evil by mirrordance now... it's LotR future-fic. and somehow, since i seem to have lapsed into this vaguely morbid and cynical state, i've started to wonder, if your friend died, would it be better to have seen it with your own eyes? or heard of it and then be left to imagine what happen? whether there was any pain or regret? i doubt there was pain in her case. but what about fear? and if she could have the choice to stay here a while more, would she have taken it? or would she still have gone ahead with it? would she have missed life here? would she have changed her mind if she'd known how it's affecting everyone? i may sound like i'm blaming her, but i'm not. they're just questions. harmless or not, you decide. but i miss her.

i really do.
more than you think i would.
i smile and laugh and joke and shrug it off.
you think i'm over it.
don't judge me.
don't judge her.

Wednesday, April 11

1:35 AM

FFV

found final fantasy 5 torrent... so i d/led it. XD and guess wat i named the main character? idiot. XDXD so now everyone calls him... well, idiot. not my fault, i had no inspiration. but i didn't save the game so i guess i'll think of a better name and then restart the game so the poor soul won't go ard being called idiot for the next 40 hours or so. assuming i manage to finish the game that is. XD la la la.

shall go finish angel sanc manga. then shud get seom sleep. going out with kiao tmr. waffles!

Tuesday, April 10

1:51 PM

Flight

yay! confirmed for friday late nite flight, will be arriving in melb on sat morning... so guess who'll be wibbling down to the market? XD i wonder if my msuhrooms are still alive in my fridge... and i kinda chucked my sausages into the freezer to see how well they'd keep. ^_^" erm... and may my cheese have aged nicely and not taste too bad now... la la.

had the strangest dream last nite. a mix of fantasy and... i dunno, a wish maybe? i really wonder wat it means cos i've never dreamed of that person before... it was a happy dream, no doubt, and i'd be very happy if it did come true, but i'm just wondering if it's just my subconscious talking... -_-" la la. *shrugs*

off to shower then. got appointment with the counsellor again afterwards. and then i dunno if i'll be in the study mood when i come home... i suddenly have this urge to watch catwoman. -_-" maybe i'll go surf thru all the videos that bro-in-law taped and watch his movies... i think he's got madagascar and batman begins somewhere there... and i'm d/ling ghost rider now so that'll keep me occupied for a while. XD bye!

1:09 AM

Shopping

shopping with mum and sis = BWAHAHA! altho i did pay for lunch... yummy yummy pepper lunch... and in return i got a miu miu wallet as an advanced b'day prezzie, and... another earhole. XD i shared the earrings with sis, she's been dying to pierce her ears ever since i got my second pair. so yes, the psychologist one now has 3 earholes and i have 5. XD 3 on the right side... maybe i shud go dig out my work and spoon earrings... then i can wear them on my right ear with my dangling fish earrings... haha. apart from them, i also have a very nice set of blisters on my toes, thanks to my new shoes... sigh. the things i would do for the sake of vanity... bleh. oh, koala would love the new season for M.A.C. colours... the theme is barbie and it's HOT PINK. yes, PINK. like everyone watch koala twirl ard in circles and go buy. hahahahahha. kidding. just thot that maybe you'd likek to know... to ease the monotony of geelong. XD speaking of geelong, where oh where shud i pick??? austin??? st v's??? ARGH!!!!

anyway, i've only got 1 review so far... MOU! pathetic desu. nobody wubs me... then again, i write very obscure series and pairings so. *shrugs*

waku desu and luverly goddessu: i thanks you muchly for your wubs and card!!! the cat in the mailbox is muchly cute. and yesh i will roll over and crash at your place some day soon. XD

i had smthg i wanted to say but now i don't remember... *thinks* i give up. i don't remember. i think i shall go offline now nad migrate upstairs to my room and read manga before i KO... lala. still on the waitlist for the weekend flights, friday looks the best so far but... shall keep praying ne? worse case scenario i will dayong sampan up the yarra in time for pbl on monday!!! haha... ya. if i get back to aussie on sat morning i might be crazy enough to go wibble ard vic mart (maybe i'll latch onto waku and goddessu's shopping bags and let them cart me ard) to stock up on food before going back to sleep it off... see how lor... ok. laptop battery is running out. shall poof now. and i still don't rememeber what i was going to say earlier. sigh. NOT A SIGN OF OLD AGE NO NOT AT ALL. XD bye!

5 seconds later: I REMEMBER!!! i just wanted to say that... er... i have a flap flap now. ^_^" orange pot, i think it might the same as waku/goddess' one... so i shall now have a happy orange thing flapping on my window in my apartment. XD wat a wonderful thing to look forward to at the end of the day. XD

Monday, April 9

3:11 AM

Quiz

Which Angel Sanctuary character are you? by Lyn

yay! i like mad hatter. hatter-san is cool. bwahaha.

posted my fic to LJ and ffnet... 11 hits on ffnet and counting... and why isn't anyone reviewing yet? mou!

went to visit deborah's parents today... it was good, i guess... and i now have another revolving mokona sitting on my chair.

just because i smile all the time and laugh like an idiot doesn't mean i've forgotten. i don't believe in grieving outwardly all the time. i'd rather focus on the happy times. but if i have to cry, i will cry. so don't judge me as shallow and superficial, because i'm not. and don't call me callous and cold-hearted either. because you'll find that i'm the furthest thing from that. but as i say, what's the point in showing all your emotions to the world all the time? it's only going to make things more uncomfortable for everyone. so please just bear with me for this period. if i want to talk, please just listen and don't give me any advice. not unless you know what you're saying and know how i'm feeling.

Sunday, April 8

12:05 AM

To Work or Not to Work

that is the question.

on one hand, if i write out my lectures now, that's one less to do during the daylight hours when i should be listening to the rest of the recordings. it would also make me feel good that i've managed to accomplish some work.

on the other hand, my crossover fic needs re-reading, and i need to check up some facts. like how exactly hatter-san addresses lucifer. i'm almost perfectly sure s/he doesn't call him by name, but i can't remember if s/he says 'your majesty' or 'one's lord' or 'one's master' or something to that effect. i never realized how irritating it was to write as and about a genderless person until last nite. imagine not being able to use 'he', 'she' or 'it'! everything is in third person! *claws at the walls* ahem. yes. very irritating. and very challenging. therefore i need to re-beta the fic. note to self, prease to bring your optical mouse upstairs this time... very irritating to have to scroll up and down using the mouse on the laptop cos i forgot to bring the other mouse up and was too lazy to make another journey downstairs. -_-"

so. conclusion? i dunno. still thinking about it. ^_^" i'll prob bring my ntoes up, turn on the aircon, recopy at least half and then pop the angel sanc manga dvd into my laptop and start reading. XD tee hee. i dun really care abt the first arc... the hell arc and the one after it especially are more exciting. cos lucifer appears in all his bastardly glory. *pokes* why aren't there any good lucifer/hatter fics out there... why is it such an obscure pairing??? not that lucifer/alexiel isn't tooth-decayingly sweet...... *shrugs*

MUST NOT WATCH ANIME. i was plannign to watch meine liebe during the hols, but i'm supposed to be catching up on work now. so i must not spoil my so far flawless record of not indulging during the semester... and mum has given me permission to camp in front of my PS2 during the winter hols therefore i must not play compy games as well.... *fingers start itching* resist resist. ARGH!

and i'm wondering if i'm being paranoid again... it's just a thought, but i hope i'm imagining things. the situation would be too uncomfortable if it really was true. -_-" and why is it that i like people who are non-existent and/or in very complicated situations???? -_-" someone prease to smack me... waku laling! can i go trauma sean when i get back??? does he want a flap flap??? maybe i should start a franchise business... import flap flaps to australia and maybe they'll all suffer from brain rot so i can top the med cohort. BWAHAHA!!!!! ahem. *poofs in a cloud of sugar dust*

[edit] 1 hour later: i finished copying out 1 set of notes! yay! oooh and it's still pretty early (i didn't reset the clock on my blog, so prease to minus 2 hours) so i think i shall wait for death note to finish d/ling, then i'm going to go shower and read angel sanc. la la la~!

Saturday, April 7

8:50 PM

Fic

wrote my holic/angel sanc fic last nite. finally. after thinking for muchly long time. turned out to be less crack and more angst/dark then i expected, but it's done. it's on my laptop tho, so i'll prob be posting it up onto LJ and maybe ffnet within the next few days. sha la la. hope i get a decent amt of reviews ne. ego needs some feeding. wierd thing is that i was actually supposed to write it for deborah's b'day last year or smthg, together with my tenipuri/ouran cross over fic... but oh well. take it as a form of tribute i guess.

gtg eat dinner now... i've reached the stage in listening to recordings and recopying lecture notes whereby i have this urge to rip them all up and feed it to my neighbours fish (who haven't done anything to me actually) I WANT TO HAVE REAL HOLIDAYS DAMMIT. on a brighter note, i just bought another pair of shoes from charles and keith, and i'm going shopping with sis again on mon. *rubs hands evilly* looks like i better start clearing out my shoe cupboard ne? ^_^ okie.i poofs.

Friday, April 6

11:43 PM

Austin

switched on the tv just now and watched a few minutes of some random show... and the guy's name was austin! is that a sign??? *scratch head*

really dunno where to put as first choice... st v's or austin.... help!!! where's the rest of the world going anyway??? don't wanna end up somewhere all by my lonely self and noone to irritate... sha la la.

waiting for 2nd sis to come home so we can watch prisoner of azkaban... her 2 y/o niece came over today... so cute! the first kid i know who actually can't wait to take a bath... she was running ard us while my sis was chasing her with her porridge and then she made some running jump into my arms and ended up bashing her forehead against my front teeth. @_@ and she tried to steal my revolving mokona... hahaha... i think mum wants her to come over more often... trying to convince sis to have kids or buy a puppy or both. haha. we were stressing dad out yesterday by pestering him to buy a puppy... i think he wanted to go bang head on wall after that... la la la la..... this is wat happens when you're the only male in teh family. XD

shall go play more msn games... la la la. and i dunno if i'm supposed to go donate blood tmr or not. -_-" and still got so much work to clear! sigh.

Thursday, April 5

4:30 PM

Hmm

so. i'm supposed to start studying today. ya. got all my notes laid out so... why the heck am i painting my nails? -_-" cmi. i plan to freak sis out... silver and purple bwahahaha fear me.

i love charles and keith.... shoe sale!!! 2 pairs of luverly new shoes and for less than $50!! XD mum wants to go back and get more.... i'm all in for it. XD and i think next week i'm bringing her to action city so i can buy myself a flap flap, and then i've got isetan vouchers that need spending and a very cute skirt from mango that i was eyeing yesterday... shoes shoes la la la~!

watching harry potter again... this time round cos sis and bro-in-law are watching. we wathced the first movie yesterday, i think they're addicted, sis is planning to marathon teh rest today or smthg, i dunno. cos if i'm not wrong, we're supposed to return goblet of fire tmr and the rest on sun... not that i'm complaining... haha... they were so cute last time!! draco had chubby cheeks that are so tempting to pinch adn squish!! and then they grew up. sigh. and all hail the puppy love, i swear that i heard snape muttering smthg abt lupin and sirius acting like an old married couple during the scene at the shrieking shack. hahaha. XDXD

ok... shall stop blabbering on and on here and go and get smthg constructive done before evening... don't have a desk lamp in the study and my table upstairs is too cluttered to get any work done on it... it's amazing how i can mess my whole room up 5 min after arriving home by just emptying the contents of my bag onto my table and leaving it as it is. ^_^" *whistles* oh, think it's time for teh next coat of nail polish. whoopee do da! bye!

ps: i'm trying to convince mum to buy a puppy... my cuzzies dog is soooooo cute!!!! *sqees* maybe we can call it snuffles. XDXD *hits self on head with immuno textbook*

Sunday, April 1

11:10 PM

Last goodbye

ya... the funeral was yesterday... it was beautiful, very peaceful. it's amazing just looking at all the pple who've been impacted by your life. the pastor shared a really good message that put a lot of us at ease... and i loved the way he described you. i admit that i almost laughed when i suddenly had this image of you barging into the garden and demanding God's attention instead of waiting for his invitation. and later on we were discussing how you'd probably have complained about the cremation, cos you always ran a mile away when the person walking in front of us was smoking and blowing nicotine into our faces. ironic, really.

just a thought. i hope that noone reading this is thinking that this post is inappropriate, crass or whatever word you wish to use. this is, after all, my blog and i will say whatever i want on this, especially regarding this topic. i feel a little... i dunno, guilty typing this out, but i know that if i don't say this now, i probably never will. so here goes.

i just want to say thank you for being my friend. one of my best friends, really. i think i didn't do you enough justice on friday when i got up to say a 'few' words... but yes, i guess our reputations just went further down the drain with the stuff me, teri and kevin said. hahaha. sorry for crying like an idiot everytime i saw your face, but i'm kind of glad that you didn't look like the you i remember. i know that you're with God and you're happy now, and i look forward to the day i get to see you again. i believe what the pastor said, it doesn't matter what manner of death you go thru, as long as you've made the decision for Christ to be your Saviour. so yes, i believe that you're in heaven now and erm... maybe reading this if there're computers there? ^_^" i'm digging thru our old pics together to find some to give to your parents, and oh my goodness i looked like such an absolute geek and dork in sec 2. *shudders* may those photos never get out. hahaha. unrecognizable with the short hair, braces, geeky smile, all skin and bones look. yes, i was skinnier back then. why i didn't get blown away? prob cos there's no gale force winds here.

ya. so, for the last time, bye bye and thanks for all the good times. i won't forget you and it'll be hard thinking that we won't be running around orchard road and going gaga over anime and manga, and i can't diss nino in your face anymore, or walk quickly down the road with you clinging to my arm and refusing to let go short of me chopping my arm off. thanks for the good times, love you lots, miss you.

~ * ~

ok. so, life goes on, and i'll be going back to my usual rambly self again i guess. thanks everyone for the concern, really appreciate it. and for those who didn't know, yes i'm now back in sunny too humid s'pore. where the mozzies have banded together to give me a LOVELY welcome home prezzie in the form of bites down my left elbow and across every. single. toe. dammit. why can't they be more brainless like the aussie version??? XDXD tee hee

oh and one more thing... my harry potter collection is no longer illegal. in fact, i could have legalised it a loooong time ago. -_-" now sis is hounding me for teh rest of teh books cos i only brought chamber of secrets and HBP back with me. as for mum... well. i dragged her to video ezy today and we rented the whole series so far... and we watched the first 2 back to back and now guess who's addicted? XD *pats self on back* i think she was highly amused with gilderoy lockhart... can't wait to watch the next one (tmr maybe? i doubt she;'ll agree to stay up with me tonite) and i get to see the puppy love! *hits self on head* ahem. SQEE! yesh. but i've till fri to finish them all. plenty of time. XD snape is so... *gestures* i swear he was catwalking in the duelling scene with lockhart. like bwahahaha, watch my cape swirl as i flick my hair. *dies laughing*

ahem. yes. i err, brought home all my notes to study. i promise i won't slack off. altho... it's so tempting to go dig out dirge of cerberus... *twiddles thumbs* i think i shall wander outside and drop hints to mum and see how. la la. i think we're going to watch 300 tmr, and then dropping by cuzzies place cos their mum is on exchange in melb, so need to feed them since their dad's on course ne? i get to play with the doggie bwahaha.

okie. shall go and irritate sis now. la la. i love my family. ^_^